9 Hidden Social Rules That Burn Out Autistic Adults
With Therapeutic Perspectives to Support Masked Autistic Adults and Allies
In my work with highly masked autistic adults—many of whom were identified later in life—I often hear a recurring theme: the exhaustion that comes not only from being autistic in a non-autistic world, but from trying to navigate a constant stream of unspoken expectations. These expectations are rarely named outright, but they are felt deeply. They're enforced through social consequences, disconnection, and the quiet message: "You're not doing it right."
Below are nine of the most common non-autistic expectations that often leave autistic adults overwhelmed, misread, or burned out—particularly when masking has become second nature.